sorry kalo gue ngeluh disini. It's just I'm tired with this problem. I feel like everything I do is always futile, useless, and wrong for my best friends. I mean the people who I consider as my best friends. I don't know if they think Im their best friend or not. I have tried to change, to be better me. but it's always not enough for them. I have apologized for what I have done, they have said " Thats okay. We already forgive you" but what I see is they don't. They want to hang out, watch movie or do something together. But not with me. They ever said "We are best friends forever" but the fact is not anymore. I think they have forgotten me, and all of our memories. Is that right? They just don't know how much it hurts to see their timeline and mention, and seeing they talk together about their plans together without me. Maybe if it happens to you, it's not hurt but for me? It hurts me like a knife. I'm suffer. I know they don't know, and I know they don't care. I'm not strong enough to face this problem. They mean so much to me, but I don't mean anything anymore to them. They ever said "We had patience enough with you." but don't you know? I'm more patient. I'd go back in time and change, but i can't. I'm very regret ever made that mistake. And i don't think they're a forgiving people. If they do, they have forgiven me and forgotten my mistake right? but really, i don't blame them. i blame myself for what i have done. I love them as much as i love myself. They don't like they used to be.They have changed, and I don't know why.
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