Hm.

hey all dear readers.

there's sumthin that bothering me few days.

my dad back to his bad bad habit.

he smokes.

again.

hmm. u know why this thing is bothering my mind? 

I still remember the story. it was 2009, and it was 5 days after Christmas. We were in Surabaya spending the holidays. one night, suddenly, my mom, dad, and my aunt went to the hospital. they were in hurry. i still remember my mom's face. she looked really panic. i was kinda confused, but my mom said, "take care of your sister, we'll be back, soon." so i listened to her  but my mind still wondering.

late at night, when my cousins, my little sisters, and I were trying to sleep, my grandma came to our room. she was crying, but she wiped her tears. i didn't ask why. my grandma asked us to pray together. She led us, in the middle of our praying, she cried again. she prayed with with vernacular which is i really don't know the meaning. after the prayer she said, "your father is dying." I was shocked. I was started to cry, but yes, i wiped my tears. I was so so sad. my dad, who always looked very healthy, is dying?! you have no idea how i feeling that night.

the next two days. it was 1st January 2010. my dad's birthday. and he lay there, weakly, on the bed, with the respirators things, or yeah stuffs like that. and he still smile. seeing him in that condition is like the worst thing in the life. i felt like i wanna cry but i couldn't. i didn't want my dad saw me cry. i couldn't see his eyes, it would make my eyes wet with tears.

the holidays is almost over but my dad still couldn't go home yet. my mom decided that i have to go back to Bekasi with my aunt and my sisters. and we left my parents in Surabaya.

school started. my teachers, which is also my mom's friends, asked me about my dad. glad to know that there are still a lot of people who care about my family. i just answered them with, "he is sick." because i didn't really know what happened to my dad.

2 weeks later and my parents came home. when i met them again.. it was, kinda awkward. don't know why. and then days passed, and people still asked about my daddy. now i know what happened to daddy that night.

so, my parents and my aunt just arrived at the hospital. maybe because it was really crowded, my dad kinda shocked. he was shortness of breath and immediately taken to the emergency room. the doctors and the nurse take care of my dad. after a few hours taking care of my dad,  they were thinking to give up. that means, my dad. will. die. the doctors asked my mom to bring me and my sisters to... um. let's just say 'give my dad a chance to say the last message'. 

like, wtf was they thinking that night?

but, fortunately, their doctor leader, is my, umm, maybe my aunt. she said to never give up, and do everything so my dad can survive. and yes, thanks God, they did it. :'')

my dad said, when he was dying, he said that he met his father (my grandfather). My grandfather said to don't give up, remember about our children. and then he shouted 'FORGIVE ME GOD! FORGIVE ME JESUS!' oh my God. 

after that night, my dad start living healthy. no smoke, no coffee. everyday my mom makes healthy juice for him (which is really not delicious, yuck). he starts to cycling too! 

but one year after that night still, i worry about everything. when he goes to work, i worry. when he came home late, i worry. i spend almost of my time worrying about my dad. don't know why. im so close to my dad. i dont want something bad happen to him, again. i don't want to lose him.

now.. when i have forgotten about ALL of my worries, he starts to smoke again.

God. what shewd I do?

ho li day.

halo. long time no post yahh. anyone miss me? well i know every one of you does miss me, but you just don't want to admit it ;p

hmmm....

i dont exactly know what should i post today:|

anyway its holiday! woo hoo. but the worst thing is, it's only 2 weeks and today is the 7th day so, only 7 days left. and then... back to the jungle. HAH.
kinda tired of my daily routine. but, what can i do? im only 13. #curhat

AND, THIS HOLIDAY I SPEND IT AT...
BEKASI.
BEKASI.
BEKASI.

like.. ugh. I WANNA GO SOMEWHERE ELSE. FAR FAR AWAY FROM HERE........

bzzz. okay. remember that im only 13 and still live with my parents so, the idea to run away from house is really really bad. okay, what am i talking about.

let's just enjoy the holiday. anyway, HAPPY IDUL FITRI EVERY ONE! eventho im not moslem, but, please forgive every mistakes i did, nobody's perfect, neither are you. :)

this post is boring. bye.

i got this from this 
NAME: Diana Theresia
BIRTHDATE: April 25th, 1998
PRESENT ADDRESS: Edmond, OK. loljk

WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. last beverage: Milo
2. last phone call: Dad
3. last text message: 889-_---
4. last song you listened to: Cheyenne - Greyson Chance
5. last time you cried: forgot. doesn't mean that i cry a lot, bcs sometimes i only issued a few drops tears

HAVE YOU EVER:
6. dated someone twice: nope
7. been cheated on: never!
8. kissed someone & regretted it: nope
9. lost someone special: ofc i do. everyone does
10. been depressed: yeah:/
11. been drunk and threw up: never and i won't do that -_-

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
12. Purple
13. white
14. idk

LAST YEAR (2010), HAVE YOU:
15. Made a new friend: yup
16. Fallen out of love: mehehe yeaa. 17. Laughed until you cried: So often!
18. Met someone who changed you: umm yea, maybe. unsure :/
19. Found out who your true friends were: no.
20. Found out someone was talking about you: mehehe often.
21. Kissed anyone on your FB friend's list: iwh are you kidding me?

GENERAL:22. How many people on your FB friends list do you know in real: don't know. i've never check my fb now 24. Do you have any pets: nope, mama never let me to have any pet.
25. Do you want to change your name: my name's too beautiful.
26. What did you do for your last birthday: only tweeting....
28. What were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: FOR GREYSON TO COME TO INDONESIA, DUDE.
30. Last time you saw your Mother: about 15 minutes ago
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: i want to live in america, soooo bad.
32. What are you listening to right now: Nothin'
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom?: i have a cousin but his name's Tommy.
34. What's getting on your nerves right now: ..... *sigh*
35. Most visited webpage: Twitter, tumblr.
where's 36?
37. Nickname: echa
38. Relationship Status: single 39. Zodiac sign: Taurus
40. He or She: She
41. Elementary: Tunas Global School
42. High School: 12 jhs bekasi 43. College: not yet
44. Hair color: black :D
45. Long or short: short.
46. Height: the last time i checked, i was about 150 cm
47. Do you have a crush on someone?: mehehe luckily no
48. What do you like about yourself?: i'm f*ckin amazing. i love everything about myself ;p
49. Piercings: no
50. Tattoos: nope, but i've ever think about make one ;p
51. Righty or lefty: Righty

FIRSTS :
52. First surgery: when i was on 3th grade
53. First piercing: never
54. First best friend: Chersy, i think 55. First sport you joined: never interested in sport
56. First vacation: Surabaya
(where's 57-_-)
58. First pair of trainers: huh?._.v

RIGHT NOW:
59. Eating: nothing
60. Drinking: nothing
61. I'm about to: sleep
62. Listening to: fan sound :|
63. Waiting for: nothing

YOUR FUTURE:
64. Want kids?: yea, twin, mehehe. but, later ofc.
65. Get Married?: of course, when i'm 20+
66. Career?: still dunno






WHICH IS BETTER :
67. Lips or eyes: if the lip's sexy, i'd pick that. but if the eyes are gorgeous, i'd pick that.
68. Hugs or kisses: hugs :D
69. Shorter or taller: come on, who wants to be shorter?
70. Older or Younger: younger
71. Romantic or spontaneous: romantic ofc
72. Nice stomach or nice arms: nice stomach? ahaha dunno
73. Sensitive or loud: loud
74. Hook-up or relationship: Relationship
75. Trouble maker or hesitant: Trouble maker! ahahaha

HAVE YOU EVER :
76. Kissed a stranger: ahahahaha no!
77. Drank hard liquor: Nope
78. Lost glasses/contacts: nope
79. Sex on first date: although my parents let me do that, i would never, EVER, do that.
80. Broke someone's heart: don't know:/
81. Had your own heart broken Yes
82. Been arrested: Nopee.
83. Turned someone down: Yeah
84. Cried when someone died: forgot. but i think yes
85. Fallen for a friend: yesh.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself: not really...
87. Miracles: always waiting for it. soooo, yes i do.
88. Love at first sight: i don't think so.
89. Heaven: yes!
90. Santa Claus: yeah. i always wait for him every Christmas. every year!
91. Kiss on the first date: nooooo!
92. Angels: yup!

Mahal

inget kan di post gue sebelumnya kalo gue batuk kronis? sekarang udah sedikit agak enakan. sedikit doang. suara masih jelek, cuman batunya agak berkurang, setidaknya ga terus22an kayak kemaren.


well, sebenernya gue ga mau bahas itu sih. gue mau bahas apa ya.. umm. gak di satu topik juga sih.
hm. oke mulai.


gue bingung sama anak-anak remaja yg sering bilang 'pengen mati' cuma grgr galau. kayak, "bosen hidup di rumah, pengen mati aja" atau, "gue sayang sama lo, kalo lo gamau sama gue, mending gue mati aja" atau bahkan, "ga ada jengkol  di rumah, pengen mati aja deh".


pertanyaan gue, apa sih gunanya ngomong gitu? biar gaul? biar dibilang keren?  biar dibilang emo? menurut gue sih ga guna kan ngomong kayak gitu.
nih deh ya, kalo kalian di posisi orang yg kena penyakit parah, atau kronis, yang hidupnya divonis dokter tinggal beberapa bulan atau beberapa minggu atau bahkan, beberapa hari lagi. di saat mereka berjuang buat hidup, disitu lo pengen mati. 


as a teenager, i have to admit kalo gue dulu pernah berfikir kayak gitu cuma gara-gara masalah yg sepele. tapi abis baca blog seseorang yg kena leukimia (dan sekarang udah meninggal) gue mikir, kok gue bego banget ya. gue liat orangtua kakak ini bener-bener perhatian sama dia di masa-masa down nya. dan kalo itu terjadi sama lo, gue yakin yang paling sedih ada adlh orang tua lo. Pelajaran mahal pertama: perhatian keluarga itu ga kegantikan sama perhatian22 dari orang lain.


dan, gue yakin lo semua tau, pengobatan itu ga murah. kecuali lo punya kartu yg buat orang yg ga mampu itu tuh,apa namanya gue lupa, dan asal lo tau, setau gue itu dapetnya susah&ribet. bahkan kakak ini sampe harus berobat ke singapura. padahal..akhirnya dia.. hm lo tau lah.  Pelajaran mahal kedua: pengobatan itu mahal.


nah, pas kakak ini lagi di opname, temen-temennya bener22 perhatian. mereka nge jenguk kakak ini pas dia di jakarta. mereka kasih semangat, mereka juga kasih video atau hadiah22 buat kakak ini. pgnbgt gue punya temen kayak gitu. Pelajaran mahal ketiga: True friends will be there for you when you need them.


sebenernya masih banyak bgt pelajaran mahal yg lo dapat kalo lo dying. tapi.. segitu aja kali ya dari gue. so, think twice ya kalo lo mikir 'hidup itu ga ada gunanya lagi'. 


last but not the least, ga ada niat buat nge judge atau sok menggurui, cuman let out yang ada di kepala gue aja.


no offense, cheers! :]

batuknya nyiksa

now playing: What the hell - Avril Lavigne

[post gue yg ini ga ada hubungannya sama sekali dgn lagu itu, emang gue suka susah nyari lagu yg cocok buat post22 gue. jadi gue pake lagu apa aja yg gue mau-_-v]

hey readers. ahuahuahua. gue lagi tersiksa banget nih. tenggorokan gue tbtb sakitttt bgt. baru beberapa hari ini sih, tapi gue udah ga tahan. gue kasih tau mama gue malah dikasih minum adem sari yang bahwasanya digunakan buat orang yg kena sariawan.....sumpah. lucu deh ma. lucu bgt kayak pak sensor. stul stul stul.

batuknya tuh aneh gini, kalo udah batuk, susah berhenti. tau ga, i hate coughing too much. tapi kalo ditahan batuknyah, rasanya malah adi kayak mau muntah. dan once again, susah berhenti batuknya. jadi gue bisa batuk sampe nangis (ini beneran loh). nah terus,setiap pagi rasanya sakit bgt tenggorokan gue. seret bgt. suaranya jadi serak gitu. pokoknya jelek banget deh! dan kdg22 juga jadi berat kayak emak-emak maniak rokok. hhh. not not not strong. i not strong with cough cough.

terus gue tanya yg lain kan, ini gimana cara nyembuhinnya. banyak yg bilang suruh minum air anget, pake jeruk nipis sama kecap, ada juga yg bilang, "suara lo diapain juga jelek cha."

uhh..

aish. tapi gimana yak, gue ga suka minum air anget kalo lagi kayak gini. mnrt gue, kalo seret, enakan minum air dingin atau es. kalo papa liat, papa pst nanya,"kamu ga batuk kak?" trs gue jwb, "engga, tenang aja". pap gue pun nyahut balik, "sok kuat kamu, nanti malem kalo batuk, awas aja." ih-_-

yaudah ah, bete. ini tenggorokan gue gatel lagi, rasanya pgn gue gorok. 

btw, gue lagi ngefans parah sm lagu yg ada liriknya "aku bete sama kamu, aku bete bete bete"~ ada yg tau liriknya? tell me yaw. maicih.

cheers! :]

When I was a kid..

- Kalo jalan bareng bokap naik motor, terus ngelewati tanjakan tinggi yang nurun gitu, gue ama bokap udah kayak naik roller coaster. Tangan diatas [bokap gue engga, of course], sambil teriak "WOOHOOOO!" sampe sekarang masih kayak gitu sih, cuman tangan ga diatas dan teriaknya ga kenceng22 bgt. wk


- setiap naik motor bareng bokap, pasti meluk bokap guenya eraaat bgt, takut jatoh soalnya HAHAHA. skrg udh ga lagi, soalnya pasti di ceng22in ama bokap gue-____-


- pas mau tidur, harus cuci tangan, cuci kaki, salam sm ortu. skrg.. udh ga lagi;~~;


- doa tidur gue ada kata-kata : "Jauhkanlah rumah kami dari binatang yang mau masuk, kayak kucing dan lain-lain" HAHAHAHAHA APA CB YG DIPIKIRAN GUE.


- terus doa gue juga ada "Jaauhkanlah kami dari binatang buas seperti singa" OKE, ENTAH APA YG GUE PIKIRIN DULU.


- Punya temen baik namanya Ria yang gue panggil Yaya. Sejak gue pindah rumah pas umur 6 tahun, lost contact gitu :|


- Punya tetangga yang melihara monyet dan gue srg nge godain monyet nya tapi dia gbs keluar AHAHA #feelslikewinner


- papa gue punya motor ajaib, motor jadul gt, trs kdg22 suka mogok di jalan dan gue dan mama gue hrs ngedorong itu motor


- pas gue msh kls 2, gue naik motor denga posisi duduk ke samping dan temen gue menyerukan "Cie tante tante cie"


- kalo gue nangis, pasti papa gue nge gendong gue di belakang trs di ajak jalan keliling rumah-_-v


- pintu kamar gue itu bolong bawahnya. karena gue takut ada tikus masuk, gue naro krayon, tempat bekel, tempat pensil,dll. wk


I miss my childhood. Life now, is really hard. i miss the way my daddy hugged me, i miss the way my mom kissed me, i miss everything... 


Tapi kan udah gede gini halus cemangadh menjalani hidup kk!


Cheers! :]

My-big-eyes

now playing: Home is in your eyes - Greyson Chance


Sebenernya, post gue kali ini ga ada hubungannya sama lagu itu. Lagu itu ceritanya sedih banget, tentang Greyson yang kangen seorang cewek [baca: gue LOLJK] pas dia jauh dari rumah. Sementara post gue yang sekarang... umm....


Banyak orang yang bilang, kalo mata gue ini bagus. Soalnya mata gue bukan warna item, tapi coklat tua. Banyak yang bilang, "Cha, mata lo kok bisa coklat gitu?" atau, "Pake soft lens ya lo?" Apalagi kalo kena sinar matahari, mata gue bisa tambah bersinar lagi coklatnya.


Jujur, gue seneng banget kalo ada yang muji mata gue. Berarti mata gue punya sesuatu yang lebih dari mata-mata mereka, ya engga sih? Umm...


Tapi tergantung kelebihannya itu deh ya. Selain warna mata gue yang indah, mata gue punya kelebihan lain. Yaitu.. umm.. belo.


Banyak juga yang sering bilang, "Gila cha, mata lo belo banget!" atau, "itu mata atau biji jengkol?" bahkan, adekya Fira, yang bahwasanya bernama sama kayak gue, dan masih berumur 5/6 tahunan juga bilang, "matanya gede banget!"atau bahkan, "Cha, mata lo mau keluar tuh".


Hufft....


Sebenernya, menurut gue, belo sama gede. Itu juga gue dikasih tau si Nadya. Kata si model tinggi dan berbehel namun punya kekurangan dalam berat badan ini, "Mata lo itu belo cha. bukan gede. gede itu kayak matanya si -sensor dengan alasan keamanan-. Kalo gede itu kayak mau keluar noh, kalo lo itu bulet."
eh, tapi tunggu, tadi kata gue kan bilang kalo ada yang bilang mata gue mau keluar kan yak? berarti...


Hufft....


Ada lagi cerita tentang kelebihan atau mungkin kekurangan dari mata gue. Mata kanan gue, lebih kecil dari dari mata kiri gue. Sekilas emang ga keliatan, tapi kalo diperhatiin, keliatan bgt bedanya. Jadi perbandingannya itu.. umm.. gimana ya? susah deh.


Papa: "Kak, mata sebelah kamu kok makin kecil?"
Gue: "Emang dari dulu kayak gitu"
Papa "Engga kok, pasti grgr kebanyakan main laptop"
Gue "Ga ada hubungannya"
Papa "Ada-adain lah kak"
Gue "yekali"


maklum, bokap gue emang suka bgt bikin teori yang ga jelas, dan gue, obviously, orang yang menentang teori bokap gue.


Sekarang tentang softlens.


pas gue jalan ke carrefour bareng keluarga gue, gue yg kebetulan lagi di sblh mamah gue ngeliatin toko kacamata yang memampangkan [oke, bahasa indonesia gue emang jelek, you mad?] softlens mereka. gue emang orangnya obsessed bgt sama yg namanya mata berwarna kayak bule-bule itutuh, apalagi kalo mata mereka warna biru. terus, mama gue yg ngeliatin gue yg lg merhatiin soft lens itu, langsung ngomong.


"kak, kalo pake gituan bisa iritasi looh"
"iya apa? temen22ku banyak kok yang make *alesan*"
"Tebar pesona doang kali mereka [mulut emak gue emg kdg22 lebih pedes dari cabenya tukang gorengan]. Lagipula kan..."
"lagipula apaan?"
"Lagipula, kalo kamu pake soft lens, mata kamu jadi lebih gede." 


Thanks mom. Thanks a lot.


Eh tapi, diluar semua kekurangan atau lebih baik dibilang kelebihan tersebut, gue grateful bnaget udah dikasih 2 mata lengkap. Masih banyak loooh, orang22 yg ga punya organ tubuh lengkap. So, be thankful for whatever you've got!


ehehe. tumben gue bener.


Cheers! :]

back, for a long long long time.

hi! long time no post yah. udah gapernah lagi buka blog sejak berbulan22 yang lalu. sebenernya udah beberapa kali pengen buka tapi yagt hadududu, browser gue gamau buka blog, dunnow why. dan tadi gue maunya sih post  ttg film yg baru gue tonton tapi gue rasa waktu nya ga bakal cukup. waktu nya tinggal sebentar lagi.... :")( apaansih-_-

dan hidup gue udah berubaaaaaaah bgtbgtbgt selama beberapa bulan ini dan gue gamungkin banget ngepost semuanya karena terlalu banyak dan kalaupun jadi rampung semuanya, bakalan butuh waktu yang lala dan berlembar-lembar post atau kalo dibikin buku bakalan jadi best seller sepanjang masa, tapi once again, ga mungkin. 


Besok22 lagi aja ya gue nge post nya, ehehe. btw, yg puasa ayo semangqa! semangat qaqa~