hey all dear readers.
there's sumthin that bothering me few days.
my dad back to his bad bad habit.
he smokes.
again.
hmm. u know why this thing is bothering my mind?
I still remember the story. it was 2009, and it was 5 days after Christmas. We were in Surabaya spending the holidays. one night, suddenly, my mom, dad, and my aunt went to the hospital. they were in hurry. i still remember my mom's face. she looked really panic. i was kinda confused, but my mom said, "take care of your sister, we'll be back, soon." so i listened to her but my mind still wondering.
late at night, when my cousins, my little sisters, and I were trying to sleep, my grandma came to our room. she was crying, but she wiped her tears. i didn't ask why. my grandma asked us to pray together. She led us, in the middle of our praying, she cried again. she prayed with with vernacular which is i really don't know the meaning. after the prayer she said, "your father is dying." I was shocked. I was started to cry, but yes, i wiped my tears. I was so so sad. my dad, who always looked very healthy, is dying?! you have no idea how i feeling that night.
the next two days. it was 1st January 2010. my dad's birthday. and he lay there, weakly, on the bed, with the respirators things, or yeah stuffs like that. and he still smile. seeing him in that condition is like the worst thing in the life. i felt like i wanna cry but i couldn't. i didn't want my dad saw me cry. i couldn't see his eyes, it would make my eyes wet with tears.
the holidays is almost over but my dad still couldn't go home yet. my mom decided that i have to go back to Bekasi with my aunt and my sisters. and we left my parents in Surabaya.
school started. my teachers, which is also my mom's friends, asked me about my dad. glad to know that there are still a lot of people who care about my family. i just answered them with, "he is sick." because i didn't really know what happened to my dad.
2 weeks later and my parents came home. when i met them again.. it was, kinda awkward. don't know why. and then days passed, and people still asked about my daddy. now i know what happened to daddy that night.
so, my parents and my aunt just arrived at the hospital. maybe because it was really crowded, my dad kinda shocked. he was shortness of breath and immediately taken to the emergency room. the doctors and the nurse take care of my dad. after a few hours taking care of my dad, they were thinking to give up. that means, my dad. will. die. the doctors asked my mom to bring me and my sisters to... um. let's just say 'give my dad a chance to say the last message'.
like, wtf was they thinking that night?
but, fortunately, their doctor leader, is my, umm, maybe my aunt. she said to never give up, and do everything so my dad can survive. and yes, thanks God, they did it. :'')
my dad said, when he was dying, he said that he met his father (my grandfather). My grandfather said to don't give up, remember about our children. and then he shouted 'FORGIVE ME GOD! FORGIVE ME JESUS!' oh my God.
after that night, my dad start living healthy. no smoke, no coffee. everyday my mom makes healthy juice for him (which is really not delicious, yuck). he starts to cycling too!
but one year after that night still, i worry about everything. when he goes to work, i worry. when he came home late, i worry. i spend almost of my time worrying about my dad. don't know why. im so close to my dad. i dont want something bad happen to him, again. i don't want to lose him.
now.. when i have forgotten about ALL of my worries, he starts to smoke again.
God. what shewd I do?
